The South African President, Cyril Ramaphosa has hinted that one of the greatest tragedies of the country are absentee fathers while revealed that only a third of South Africa’s children live with both parents.
Ramaphosa who made this known while giving his remarks at the Presidential Young Men and Boys Indaba, Maponya Mall, Soweto, added that most South Africa’s children either live with their mother only or with neither parents.
He stated that many young men may not have positive role models. “We must talk about what it means for young men and boys not to have a father at home to support, encourage and guide them.
“We must talk about the pressure on young men and boys to drop out of school to earn a living because they have family members relying on them financially, or because they want to be independent”.
The President pointed out that there is a crisis in the country, a terrible crisis that can destroy South Africa if the citizens do not overcome it. “That crisis is violence against women and girls; violence that men perpetrate.
“Because it is men who are responsible for this scourge, men need to be part of bringing it to an end. We are encouraged that we have with us today young men from different parts of our country who have stood up and said yes, we want to be part of bringing about change. Yes, we want to be better men.
“Yes, we want to show by our words and deeds that we respect women and girls and treat them as equals. I want to thank you all for taking this important step towards making our country a better place for all its people. This young men’s dialogue is very important”.
He added, “To end gender-based violence, we must focus on prevention. We must stop this violence before it even happens. There must be an open and honest conversation about what contributes to violence against women and girls.
“We need to talk about patriarchal attitudes and practices. We need to challenge toxic masculinity, which is the idea that being a man means one must dominate and demean women. We must talk about the influence of culture and media depictions of men and women”.
Ramaphosa voiced out that in South Africa today, young black men are most vulnerable to violence. “Young men and boys are vulnerable to recruitment by gangs and pressure to take part in criminal activities. The young men of this country are being made into men before their time.
“You may face pressure from your friends to become sexually active even when you are not ready to, because this is seen as being a real man. Worse yet, engaging in unsafe sex practices is also seen as more manly.
He pressed further that this leading to teenage pregnancies, the spread of HIV and sexually transmitted infections and other problems. “We must talk about this. For some there may be pressure, especially once you have gone through ritual initiation, to so-called “prove” your manhood in various ways.
“Far too often this is having a destructive effect on women and girls. We must talk about these things and not whisper them in dark corners. As young men, you may be tired of being told you are problem. You want your dignity respected and upheld. You want your good qualities to be recognised”.
Ramaphosa pleaded to South African young men, saying, “We are here to tell you that we see you as not the problem, but as the solution. It is in your hands to bring about a new generation of South African men.
“This new generation of men are respectful, masculine in a positive way and sensitive. They would never think of a woman as less than a man. They would never think about raising their hand against a woman. We have convened this dialogue because we recognise that we must engage men and boys separately from women and girls.
“We want to create more safe and open spaces where you can talk about your feelings, share with each other and collaborate on strategies that help you advance through different stages of your lives.
“The focus of the programme is to reimagine and reinvent masculinities in sensitive, respectful, accountable, expressive and nurturing ways. It is about working with young men and boys through theatres of learning to influence how they view themselves and the kinds of men that they grow into.
“As government, civil society, business and social partners we are committed to supporting you in your journey to becoming better men”, while thanked Department of Basic Education, Primestars, SterKinekor and all the partners for taking the initiative to design such a positive and uplifting programme.