They says the fundamental goal for parents should be to guide their children and to set them on a path to maturity, bringing them to full measure of their potential, while raising children with loving discipline provide their parents with joy and tranquilly.
Research shows that positive parenting helps children do better in school, have fewer behavioral problems, and stronger mental health, even the bible says discipline your children, and they will give you peace and bring you the delights you desire.
Media Bypass News on its path to root out differences in the life of students from three decades to the present age chatted up with the Vice Principal, Anglican Grammar School, Okenla, Ifo, Ogun State, Mrs Ronke Solademi who was once a senior prefect of the same school in 1983.
While recalling her experience as prefect and student of the school, Mrs Solademi explained that there are much differences, emphasizing on the decadence of 1983 to 2023, societal life, the governance, the home, the religious activities which as far as deep into the system.
According to her, “When I was the senior girl in 1983, we conduct assembly, we can beat students when they did something wrong, seized unwanted materials, we were given so much respect as seniors, but now, no such things anymore.
“Though during that time too, there are bad students but not as destructive as the present students, there were high level of fighting, trauncy but not into destruction of school facilities like we experience it today”, she said.
The Vice Principal pressed further that bad parenting has been the bedrock of problem students becoming shadow of themselves nowadays, while parents become strangers to their children by going out so early and coming back late at night.
She added that most of these parents can’t tell what their children doing during the day or at night and when such children misbehave in school and they’re asked to bring their parents. “We find out that they’re leaving with grannies as result of separation and divorce”, Mrs Solademi disclosed.
The VP also lamented that these parents leave their children to grannies who can hardly handle them. “These parents probably believe these kids would take care of their grannies, forgetting that those grannies don’t have the strength to handle them when they go astray”.
She added, “Even some children are left to leave on their own without financial assistance, some children would not come to school on market days looking for ways fence for themselves getting independent at tender age despite being immature”.
Solademi noted that positive parenting is about showing children love, warmth and kindness. “It’s about guiding children to act the way you want by encouraging and teaching them”, the Vice Principal said.
While supporting Mrs Solademi’s realistic analysis, Major General Fadayiro Abiodun who was once a student of the school said, “What we actually have today are probably accidental parents who weren’t either prepared or equipped for parenthood”.
General Abiodun noted that educational, moral, cultural, and ethical values are lacking in the so-called parents, added, “you can’t give what you don’t have. Our values are daily eroded at alarming rates, through foreign values, particularly among the Gen Zs.
“It is the responsibility of the responsible parents to hand over the correct values to the coming generation, moderately balancing these with reasonable modern values.
“The world is nose diving into irredeemable abyss if we all fold our arms and leave society to train our children/wards, which is a sharp contrast to what was obtainable in our childhood days”, the General stated.
Also in her reaction, the senior girl, set of 87, Mrs Adetutu Adebiyi, who is energetic despite her age, said those days can never be compared to the present days, adding that the old students are more God-fearing, diligent, hardly come late to school and always shun violence, destruction of school facilities.
Mrs Adetutu went ahead that school was very interesting back then. “No students want to be beating or discipline for coming late to school. We are very ambitious, trying to participate in one or two school activities such as literally and debating society, sporting among other things”.
She said, “Though we have the stubborn ones among us but we were still one big family. And our teachers were very respected while senior classes were giving their own respect. Not like today that no respect anymore, students misbehaving anyhow to the extend of being destructive”.
Adetutu also made mention of parenting as primary cause of students being destructive nowadays, adding that during their days in school, because of the background and the way most of these parent brought up their kids. “You hardly see any parent encouraging his or her children wrongly.
“Most of the students are well trained then but these days, children are controlling their parents because of modern life children are being over-pampered from the tender age turning them to something else. In our own days, our parents didn’t spare us whenever we went astray”, she said.
Mrs Adetutu who also has an orphanage home advocated parenting that promotes and supports the physical, emotional, social, spiritual and cognitive development of a child from infancy to adulthood.